Monday, October 3, 2011

This is Surreal

I have not written in here in two weeks and I think it is because I did not want to jinx myself.  Saying the words outloud still sounds so foreign...I'm pregnant...what a delightfully foreign concept!  I honestly feel like I'm just saying that and pretending to be pregnant, it can't possibly be true?! 

My beta was scheduled for last Wednesday 9/28.  Sunday night Bri and I did a test at home because we were beside ourselves wondering.  I was going to secretly do one the next day, but when Brian suggested it, I was shocked.  Is this the same guy who gave me grief for two years testing early saying that it couldn't possibly show up that early?!  So I jumped on the bandwagon and took a cheap test at 9pm.  We thought we saw the faintest line, but it was hard to tell for sure.  These tests were sent to me by my brother's sister-in-law and are rated really high for accuracy and early results, but the viewing isn't as obvious as most.  They bleed a little and the positive lines are usually going to be lighter than the test line even when super pregnant.  So, it gave us a glimmer of hope.  The next day on my way to work I stopped and got two different brands, one digital and one regular.  I went in the bathroom at work and took the regular one and immediately got two lines!  I just stared at it in disbelief for a few minutes.  I have dreamed for so long of seeing two lines so I kept blinking wondering if I was seeing things!  Later that night I took the digital one with Brian and got a Pregnant.  We were so elated.  We went to tell our parents right away (they knew the blood test was Wednesday, so we wanted to surprise them a little bit)!  Wednesday I had my first beta (tests HCG in my blood) and that came back at 104, anything above 50 is pregnant!  Friday I had my second beta, to make sure the numbers were 66% higher or preferably double.  My number was 227!  What a relief.  I'm pregnant....still sounds weird! 

Two weeks from my second beta on 10/14 is my first ultrasound to see the baby's heartbeat and make sure baby is snuggled in where it should be and is doing well.  I am going to be pretty beside myself these next two weeks (well let's be honest, probably the entire pregnancy - at least the first trimester) but am trying to remain positive.  Unfortunately I've read a lot of blogs where they go for the first u/s and see the baby has miscarried and not shown any symptoms.  Hoping that's unusual, but this whole IVF stuff sure makes you feel like an eggshell! 

In the meantime, Brian and I are enjoying the wonderful bubble of happiness we are in right now.  My sister gave me all of her pregnancy books, so I am already partway through with What to Expect When You're Expecting and I'm loving every minute of it.  Lots to learn - I focused so long on getting pregnant that I didn't know what to do when I was pregnant.  Who knew I couldn't have things like fish & chips (cod has too much mercury), hot dogs, lunch meat, soft cheeses (goat cheese is my favorite), etc.  I'm so so happy to have these issues now, but it still doesn't feel real.  I feel great aside from being more tired at night (Brian makes fun of me for getting in bed at 8:30), slightly less hungry, and a sore chest.  I know you don't need nausea to be pregnant, but I am waiting (and secretly hoping) for nausea to help prove to myself there's something in there.

I had Big City Burrito for lunch - those of you who know me know it is my favorite food on earth.  It would appear baby does not love Big City as much as me.  It did not taste as good as normal and I couldn't even finish it.  Disappointing, baby, disappointing :)

Thank you all so much for your countless prayers and support these past few months.  Please continue to pray for baby to continue to prosper and grow inside me.  It's going to be an exciting 9 months :)

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