Two weeks from tonight I will check into Sky Ridge to begin my induction of baby boy Mendelsberg. At my last ultrasound appointment at Obstetrix baby had only gained like 4 ounces in two weeks and he should have gained at least a pound during that time. This indicates that the marginal insertion for the cord placement may be starting to affect baby. I also lost more weight, argh. So, the doctors said that after 39 weeks there is no more development that occurs and he will do better in the outside world, so we should schedule induction for 39 weeks. This will also allow them to wean me off of the Heparin which will allow for a safer delivery (and allow me to get an epidural!!) too. After working with my primary OB's schedule, she said I will check in May 31st at 6pm and have baby boy the next day, June 1! We were a little hesitant because that is Shayna's birthday (Brian's sister), but my doctor goes on vacation the beginning of the following week, so that is really the only day that will work.
It is crazy how close it feels! This weekend is our last weekend to get things done before baby arrives since Brian works all of Memorial Day weekend, so we have a packed schedule trying to see friends, hair appointments, get last minute stuff for baby, etc.
I am really trying to enjoy these last weeks of being pregnant because I guarantee I will miss it someday, but I am so uncomfortable and even though baby coming feels real, it still doesn't feel like it will happen. I am part of an IVF support group online and we often talk about those of us who get pregnant have PTSD from the process and it makes it hard to trust that we might actually get a real live baby at the end of this. One girl who has her twins home safely with her now still says she doesn't feel like she will get to keep them. It certainly makes us very appreciative mothers, but it is sad that the stress from infertility may continue to haunt me for awhile.
I keep having dreams every night of delivering him and getting to meet him. Last night in my dream his head came out, the rest of his body was still inside me, but he saw me and smiled and giggled. Obviously a newborn cannot do that, but it was a great feeling to see my baby and that immediate love I felt.
I will continue weekly appointments up until I deliver at my OB and they are going to do another ultrasound to check growth in a week or so. It is just so weird to me that I keep losing weight and my uterus is measuring behind now, which they said could be that he's just settling into my pelvis so the measurement isn't as accurate, but as I stated above, I'm a little on edge about feeling like he's okay, so any time they suggest I can get another ultrasound I am all over it. Only thing that keeps me sane is that his movements are still very frequent and there is a calming effect to knowing that they say an active baby is a happy baby. With how much he's pressing on my bladder sometimes I stand up and half expect my water to burst because there is such a full feeling down there! I will try to post an update before he's delivered with final thoughts.
