I had another ultrasound last Friday since the growth was a little behind on baby on the first ultrasound. Baby looked almost LESS like a baby than it did a week ago, but had grown a lot (now 1cm long) and heartbeat was 146. They showed us the flickering heart for a few seconds, it was very cool to see it fluttering away! My little baby...I can't wait to hear the heartbeat next.
On Thursday I have an appointment with a nurse practioner at CCRM to check me over and make sure things are going well. No ultrasound that time, but I guess it's good to make sure that I'm okay in addition to baby :) Then blood work on Friday to continue to monitor my hormone levels. Hopefully if Friday's levels are good they will start to taper my hormones which will take about another 3 or 4 weeks to get off of. I am very excited to be off of all those hormones, but you begin to wonder if your body is capable of sustaining the pregnancy without them.
Next Tuesday then I have my first official appointment with my OB, Dr. Gipson. I will have an ultrasound at that appointment, and then all of my care, with the exception of my weekly blood work at CCRM until I'm all the way off of my hormones, will be done with my OB. I'm so excited to get past this first trimester hump and feel more like a normal pregnant woman. 5 more weeks to go!
I continue to be very nauseous. If I can find something tasty that I can eat enough of I do feel much better, but mostly my appetite is pathetic and Brian always ends up finishing my meals (he said he will probably gain as much as me over the next 9 months!)
All for now, dinner tonight with some friends, hoping I am able to eat something and enjoy myself!
Monday, October 24, 2011
Friday, October 14, 2011
6w2d ultrasound
We had our first ultrasound this morning. Baby was in there, it looked like a grain of rice in a big black bubble! Heartbeat was 109, they wanted it above 100. Growth showed baby at 5w6d and 6w0d in the two measurements they did which is 2 or 3 days behind schedule. They want to do another ultrasound next Friday at 7w2d to make sure baby isn't falling farther behind. It makes me nervous because on the forum I'm on the girls have all measured right on schedule or a day ahead. My nurse wasn't there today so I was talking to a different nurse I've never met. The ultrasound tech was also someone I've never met, so I think all of those things combined make me feel uneasy. The tech did say that she thinks I came about 3 days too early (even though this is when Annie told me to come) and that sometimes when the baby is this tiny it is hard to get an accurate reading. Everyone tells me to be happy and that probably everything is fine, but I guess I will probably feel really uneasy the entire first trimester - it just seems so precarious, like it could be ripped away from me at any minute.
After the appointment we had another appointment at an OB that two of Brian's coworkers had recommended. The OB was in Mexico doing free surgeries for a few days down there which she does every year at this time, so I met with her NP. It is a solo practice which I'm not sure I love, but they are right across the hall from Obstetrix, who is the group my sister used and is a great high risk practice that they said they would share my care with them. All of my Lovenox care would be through Obstetrix as well as a heart screening later in pregnancy due to my sister's baby having tetralogy of fallot. I was going to try to go to Obstetrix as my primary OB, but I haven't heard back if I qualify for their practice and they only deliver at PSL downtown, and we really want to deliver at Sky Ridge, so this practice may be the answer I was wanting.
Anyway, big day, and happy to still be in the game! The OB gave us some samples of diapers and formula in my welcome package and it is so surreal to think about those things. This still doesn't seem real most days!
After the appointment we had another appointment at an OB that two of Brian's coworkers had recommended. The OB was in Mexico doing free surgeries for a few days down there which she does every year at this time, so I met with her NP. It is a solo practice which I'm not sure I love, but they are right across the hall from Obstetrix, who is the group my sister used and is a great high risk practice that they said they would share my care with them. All of my Lovenox care would be through Obstetrix as well as a heart screening later in pregnancy due to my sister's baby having tetralogy of fallot. I was going to try to go to Obstetrix as my primary OB, but I haven't heard back if I qualify for their practice and they only deliver at PSL downtown, and we really want to deliver at Sky Ridge, so this practice may be the answer I was wanting.
Anyway, big day, and happy to still be in the game! The OB gave us some samples of diapers and formula in my welcome package and it is so surreal to think about those things. This still doesn't seem real most days!
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
A Scare
Well I have had quite a scare the past few days. Sunday I was going to the Broncos game with Brian, I had cramping in the morning, but I didn't think too much of it since I have been cramping this whole time. The cramping was a little worse than usual, for example, I wanted to take Advil for the pain but knew I could not. I still thought I'd go to the game and ignore it, nothing I could do about it! At halftime I went to the bathroom and saw brown spotting on my pantyliner which I've been wearing for the past several weeks because my progesterone suppositories. It freaked me out. When I wiped I had bright red blood. I went back to the game but could not get into the excitement, even though they had just put Tebow in as quarterback and I am a big fan (was even wearing his jersey)! I told Brian who tried to calm me down but he was very nervous himself. About an hour later I went back to the bathroom and still was having bright red spotting. I was so upset that I was losing the baby. We went home after the game and I just lost it. I called the 24 hour on call nurse who said there was nothing they could do to see what was wrong until my ultrasound Friday because the baby won't have a visible heartbeat until then, so doing an ultrasound now wouldn't do any good. She seemed more concerned that I had cramping with it. By this point it was back to being dark brown spotting, but I was still having cramping and was a mess. She advised me to stay home from work the next day and keep my feet up to get the bleeding under control. I emailed my boss and ended up telling him I was pregnant, even though I didn't want to tell him yet, so he would be more understanding. I had just taken FTO last Friday and had this coming Friday scheduled off for the ultrasound, and with all of this FTO surrounding all my IVF the past few months, I was worried he would start wondering about me, so I came clean. It actually felt good to get that weight off my shoulders. He was fine and told me to rest up and not to worry about missing work.
The bleeding appears to be under control finally. All day yesterday I would just have a little bit of spottiness when I went to the bathroom and that was it. Today a little left over, but no new blood. I know that spotting can be quite common in pregnancy, but having the cramping with it makes it certainly more alarming. I still have had cramping the past two days, but more at the level I was having before, but now, of course I'm a LOT more paranoid. Friday seems very far away. I cannot bear to think about losing this baby. The good news?? is that I had bad heartburn all day yesterday and have been really nauseous all day today. I am trying to tell myself that little baby is trying to make itself known and tell me "it's okay mommy, I'm here and I'm fine." I really hope that is the case. I will feel worlds better if we get good results on Friday. I'm back at work today and trying to focus on my job, but this is very all consuming right now in my life. I'm exhausted and just want to go lay on my couch or in my bed and watch tv and nap! I joined a forum for other girls who went through IVF at CCRM and got pregnant and that has been comforting to have others in the same boat as me, though many are further along in their pregnancies. Many of them had spotting and went on to have healthy pregnancies, but it sure does feel dooming to go through that. On top of all of that I am trying to find an OB to go to when I get released from CCRM in a few weeks. My old OB moved to Cleveland, so I have a call out to a few that friends have recommended, but just added stress right now not to know where we'll end up and also hoping this isn't all for naught come Friday. Please keep praying for baby. Our little fighter we need to fight more now than ever!
The bleeding appears to be under control finally. All day yesterday I would just have a little bit of spottiness when I went to the bathroom and that was it. Today a little left over, but no new blood. I know that spotting can be quite common in pregnancy, but having the cramping with it makes it certainly more alarming. I still have had cramping the past two days, but more at the level I was having before, but now, of course I'm a LOT more paranoid. Friday seems very far away. I cannot bear to think about losing this baby. The good news?? is that I had bad heartburn all day yesterday and have been really nauseous all day today. I am trying to tell myself that little baby is trying to make itself known and tell me "it's okay mommy, I'm here and I'm fine." I really hope that is the case. I will feel worlds better if we get good results on Friday. I'm back at work today and trying to focus on my job, but this is very all consuming right now in my life. I'm exhausted and just want to go lay on my couch or in my bed and watch tv and nap! I joined a forum for other girls who went through IVF at CCRM and got pregnant and that has been comforting to have others in the same boat as me, though many are further along in their pregnancies. Many of them had spotting and went on to have healthy pregnancies, but it sure does feel dooming to go through that. On top of all of that I am trying to find an OB to go to when I get released from CCRM in a few weeks. My old OB moved to Cleveland, so I have a call out to a few that friends have recommended, but just added stress right now not to know where we'll end up and also hoping this isn't all for naught come Friday. Please keep praying for baby. Our little fighter we need to fight more now than ever!
Monday, October 3, 2011
This is Surreal
I have not written in here in two weeks and I think it is because I did not want to jinx myself. Saying the words outloud still sounds so foreign...I'm pregnant...what a delightfully foreign concept! I honestly feel like I'm just saying that and pretending to be pregnant, it can't possibly be true?!
My beta was scheduled for last Wednesday 9/28. Sunday night Bri and I did a test at home because we were beside ourselves wondering. I was going to secretly do one the next day, but when Brian suggested it, I was shocked. Is this the same guy who gave me grief for two years testing early saying that it couldn't possibly show up that early?! So I jumped on the bandwagon and took a cheap test at 9pm. We thought we saw the faintest line, but it was hard to tell for sure. These tests were sent to me by my brother's sister-in-law and are rated really high for accuracy and early results, but the viewing isn't as obvious as most. They bleed a little and the positive lines are usually going to be lighter than the test line even when super pregnant. So, it gave us a glimmer of hope. The next day on my way to work I stopped and got two different brands, one digital and one regular. I went in the bathroom at work and took the regular one and immediately got two lines! I just stared at it in disbelief for a few minutes. I have dreamed for so long of seeing two lines so I kept blinking wondering if I was seeing things! Later that night I took the digital one with Brian and got a Pregnant. We were so elated. We went to tell our parents right away (they knew the blood test was Wednesday, so we wanted to surprise them a little bit)! Wednesday I had my first beta (tests HCG in my blood) and that came back at 104, anything above 50 is pregnant! Friday I had my second beta, to make sure the numbers were 66% higher or preferably double. My number was 227! What a relief. I'm pregnant....still sounds weird!
Two weeks from my second beta on 10/14 is my first ultrasound to see the baby's heartbeat and make sure baby is snuggled in where it should be and is doing well. I am going to be pretty beside myself these next two weeks (well let's be honest, probably the entire pregnancy - at least the first trimester) but am trying to remain positive. Unfortunately I've read a lot of blogs where they go for the first u/s and see the baby has miscarried and not shown any symptoms. Hoping that's unusual, but this whole IVF stuff sure makes you feel like an eggshell!
In the meantime, Brian and I are enjoying the wonderful bubble of happiness we are in right now. My sister gave me all of her pregnancy books, so I am already partway through with What to Expect When You're Expecting and I'm loving every minute of it. Lots to learn - I focused so long on getting pregnant that I didn't know what to do when I was pregnant. Who knew I couldn't have things like fish & chips (cod has too much mercury), hot dogs, lunch meat, soft cheeses (goat cheese is my favorite), etc. I'm so so happy to have these issues now, but it still doesn't feel real. I feel great aside from being more tired at night (Brian makes fun of me for getting in bed at 8:30), slightly less hungry, and a sore chest. I know you don't need nausea to be pregnant, but I am waiting (and secretly hoping) for nausea to help prove to myself there's something in there.
I had Big City Burrito for lunch - those of you who know me know it is my favorite food on earth. It would appear baby does not love Big City as much as me. It did not taste as good as normal and I couldn't even finish it. Disappointing, baby, disappointing :)
Thank you all so much for your countless prayers and support these past few months. Please continue to pray for baby to continue to prosper and grow inside me. It's going to be an exciting 9 months :)
My beta was scheduled for last Wednesday 9/28. Sunday night Bri and I did a test at home because we were beside ourselves wondering. I was going to secretly do one the next day, but when Brian suggested it, I was shocked. Is this the same guy who gave me grief for two years testing early saying that it couldn't possibly show up that early?! So I jumped on the bandwagon and took a cheap test at 9pm. We thought we saw the faintest line, but it was hard to tell for sure. These tests were sent to me by my brother's sister-in-law and are rated really high for accuracy and early results, but the viewing isn't as obvious as most. They bleed a little and the positive lines are usually going to be lighter than the test line even when super pregnant. So, it gave us a glimmer of hope. The next day on my way to work I stopped and got two different brands, one digital and one regular. I went in the bathroom at work and took the regular one and immediately got two lines! I just stared at it in disbelief for a few minutes. I have dreamed for so long of seeing two lines so I kept blinking wondering if I was seeing things! Later that night I took the digital one with Brian and got a Pregnant. We were so elated. We went to tell our parents right away (they knew the blood test was Wednesday, so we wanted to surprise them a little bit)! Wednesday I had my first beta (tests HCG in my blood) and that came back at 104, anything above 50 is pregnant! Friday I had my second beta, to make sure the numbers were 66% higher or preferably double. My number was 227! What a relief. I'm pregnant....still sounds weird!
Two weeks from my second beta on 10/14 is my first ultrasound to see the baby's heartbeat and make sure baby is snuggled in where it should be and is doing well. I am going to be pretty beside myself these next two weeks (well let's be honest, probably the entire pregnancy - at least the first trimester) but am trying to remain positive. Unfortunately I've read a lot of blogs where they go for the first u/s and see the baby has miscarried and not shown any symptoms. Hoping that's unusual, but this whole IVF stuff sure makes you feel like an eggshell!
In the meantime, Brian and I are enjoying the wonderful bubble of happiness we are in right now. My sister gave me all of her pregnancy books, so I am already partway through with What to Expect When You're Expecting and I'm loving every minute of it. Lots to learn - I focused so long on getting pregnant that I didn't know what to do when I was pregnant. Who knew I couldn't have things like fish & chips (cod has too much mercury), hot dogs, lunch meat, soft cheeses (goat cheese is my favorite), etc. I'm so so happy to have these issues now, but it still doesn't feel real. I feel great aside from being more tired at night (Brian makes fun of me for getting in bed at 8:30), slightly less hungry, and a sore chest. I know you don't need nausea to be pregnant, but I am waiting (and secretly hoping) for nausea to help prove to myself there's something in there.
I had Big City Burrito for lunch - those of you who know me know it is my favorite food on earth. It would appear baby does not love Big City as much as me. It did not taste as good as normal and I couldn't even finish it. Disappointing, baby, disappointing :)
Thank you all so much for your countless prayers and support these past few months. Please continue to pray for baby to continue to prosper and grow inside me. It's going to be an exciting 9 months :)
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