I am now 5 days past transfer. Amazingly up until now I have felt really calm and at peace. A few times a day a dark thought will creep into my mind about if this doesn't work and I try to quickly push it out of my thoughts. I am so darn attached to this baby already. I look at the picture of the embryo a few times a day and I find myself talking to the baby and rubbing my belly, it's kind of crazy :) Last night it was cute because Brian pulled out his phone and showed me the pic of the embryo and zoomed in really close to it and we both just sat there and stared at it. It made me happy because I think he's just as in love with it as I am. I really don't know what I'll do if this fails.
I have been having stomach aches the past few days and some pains that come and go very quickly, almost cramp-like. This morning when I was getting ready for work I thought I was going to throw up a few times. I can see symptoms in myself all day long, but I keep reminding myself that every single month I think I have every symptom in the book and I have to be pregnant, then only to learn that I'm not, so I am trying not to get too excited about these symptoms. I must be the only person who's excited for morning sickness, excited for the incredible ways my body will change - how odd that must seem, but I am so ready it makes me sick to think about it not coming true. I'm excited for the weekend, but also dreading a lot of extra time to think about everything, I need to try to stay busy this weekend! I think we are going to do a at home test Monday night with one of the tests Kara sent me for good luck (she got preggers when using these tests, so maybe they're magical!) I don't go in for my blood test at CCRM until Wednesday, so I guess there's a chance it could be too early to show up, but a lot of people on discussion boards that I read have seen positives by that date. Prayers, lots of prayers....
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